Throw Away Love
by Mystic Dragon4
Summary: Its spring break and while lying on the roof Kyou contemplates his life in the sohma clan and his future. Contains hints of shounen ai. ;) Might become series if there is audience for it.


Hiya! This is the first fic I've posted for FB, hopefully people will tell me what they think by reviewing. This fic might turn into a prologue for a longer series and yes, it IS shounen ai. J Should I painstakingly turn this into a series? Please R&R. What pairing do you think this might be? 

-Some of the fic contains spoilers.. Sorry, it was in the manga, but I think people will find it ok, considering nothing important was given away.

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Throw Away Love~ 

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Kyou was lying on his back on the roof while staring up at the sky. It was spring break and he had a week free to himself, before he had to dig up the determination to face another school day and those pesky girls. 

One unknown female had confessed to him the other day. He didn't even know her name but she had insisted that they could be together. It had drawn a hell of a lot of attention, even more than that kuso nezumi had. //Of course, a girl actually confessing to **me** of all people? They must have all ran there to see..// He snorted at the thought. Not surprisingly the smitten girl had been disappointed because Kyou had refused to delude anyone. There was no other answer that he could make, it was simply impossible. He scowled at the thought of having to go through that at all. Unlike Yuki he didn't attraction hordes of girls everywhere he went and he definitely didn't want to either. Like a cat, attention was unwelcome to him when he didn't want it, and he didn't care for it from those hungry packs of dogs that were Yuki's fan girls. For one, he would be in danger of changing with all those girls chasing him. Just one trip and fall and he would be revealed in his animal form. It wasn't conductive to staying hidden.  

He closed his eyes and turned his head against his arm. No, he didn't want to be the kuso nezumi in that kind of situation. And now he wondered if he even wanted the seat of respect that Yuki seemed to have as a member of the jyuunishi. Too blasted troublesome. It wasn't like he'll have the love and affection of everyone if he suddenly became one officially. He didn't care to be loved by those two faced dogs, snakes, mice or cursed clan head. Through the past year he had seen them all at their lowest, and it wasn't a pretty sight. The strongest of their clan were the silent ones, he decided. Like Kazuma, who even now in his own thoughts he wouldn't call father. It was too much of a taint on the martial arts teacher for the cursed cat to call him that. He wasn't going to be worthy for a long time, Kyou sighed, feeling a tinge of pain at the thought. But he would do his best to make him proud. 

The most worthy person in this house, he thought, must be Tohru. She was kind, gentle and so totally selfless. //I can't help but be gruff around her, showing affection isn't something I'm good at but I'm getting better. At least she doesn't freak out as often anymore…// Her innocence was having an affect on all of them, reminding them of happier memories. Pushing away the darkness. But for Kyou the darkness could never be dispelled because it arose from what he was. She had to be too busy fussing over the rat anyway. 

Kyou rolled over on his side and gazed somberly at the blue luminescent sky. The wind brushed through his hair and ruffled it bringing a chill to his skin. The sun shone brightly but it could do nothing against the panicked sick feeling inside of him. He wasn't blind to Yuki's advances towards Tohru, but if they both felt the same way about each other, who was he to get in their way? //Yuki is getting his salvation. Like usual he will be saved from this life, he gets what he wants // he thought bitterly, //but for once can't I get what I want? If I can just spend the time I have left with Tohru I'll be happy enough to just leave everything behind and live out my life in that moldy cage of a room. The only regret I have is for her…  No one else will care if I live or die; no one else is my friend. // 

He couldn't help but remember the face of Yuki when they were still friends.. They were so happy then, those were close to the happiest days of his life if it weren't for these new memories with Tohru. //He didn't care then that I was the Cat and I didn't care he was the Rat… But where did that all go when my mother died and he believed along with the rest of them that it was my fault?! It was a mistake to trust him with my feelings; he doesn't have the heart to handle them properly… And he calls me a brute…//  

Exhausted from his thoughts, Kyou cured up in a fetal position and brought one hand to his lips. However things go, he will protect Tohru from the contamination one receives from getting too deeply into the affairs of the cursed Sohma clan, and with that throw away all the useless feelings of hurt and betrayal caused by the nezumi. Kill the warmth fluttering in his stomach whenever he thought of Yuki's smile… With that last thought Kyou descended into dream. 


End file.
